This past Sunday evening, I made a batch of homemade peanut butter and pumpkin biscuits for our dog Willie. I got the recipe off Pinterest and it was pretty simple or so I thought. The recipe was simple but it was too moist so I added flour but then it was a tad dry. My attempt at rolling out the dough, per the instructions, was unsuccessful because it kept sticking to the rolling pin. And boy did this piss me off because I imagined it being a lot easier then that. Oh I forgot to mention that my love, my daughter was helping me out and even though it was a sweet gesture, I admit I wasn’t too keen on the idea. Only because I wanted to get the biscuits done as soon as possible…and I hadn’t eaten dinner yet and I was not in the best mood. As any other woman of age, we suffer the horrors of PMS. Some months are easier than others but those unfortunate days my hormones wreak havoc on ME. I do the best I can to be pleasant and inform my husband, and sometimes my brother, that I am not feeling well and sometimes I don’t mince words and I tell them I am feeling very bitchy. Grrrrr! I tell my husband I need some space and that it’ll pass over…several times throughout the day of course. The whole point of this is that I unfairly snap at my daughter without meaning too. Of course, I apologize and I immediately correct my actions. Usually I tell my husband or my brother to keep her occupied while I take a few moments to breathe, which usually does the trick. My daughter is the best helper there is, and I am taking full advantage because according to my mother, this will not last long. Soon I will be nagging her to finish the simplest chores.
In the middle of baking the biscuits, I helped with giving my daughter a bath and returned to the kitchen to find my husband molding out the rest of the biscuits in shapes of a fire hydrant and squirrels. It was such a sweet sight for a girl who was feeling very grumpy, fat and bloated. My husband is such a wonderful man who tries to ensure that I am taken care of in any way every day. I am touched by his daily gestures and he always manages to surprise me.
A little while later when the dog biscuits were done, I took two of them and called Willie over to living room, where my daughter and husband were, and gave the treats to Willie. Then my husband said something that I shall remember forever. I made the comment that Willie would eat anything put forth before him, and my husband said, “If that’s not love then I don’t know what is. Homemade biscuits made just for you.” It really made me think of various forms of love that come at the precise moments you need or want them. My daughter loves to help with chores because she loves us and wants to do what we are doing. She loves me even when her mom is in a shitty mood and wants to be left alone. She doesn’t understand the trivial things that seem to bring adults down, and I am learning to remember that each and every day. And my husband manages to make me feel loved and appreciated even after a long day of training at the hospital, and with a head cold to boot.
Love is wonderful. Every human being deserves to be loved and respected. I am very fortunate to have both.
Last Friday, I worked in the greenhouse for 5+ hours taking sample and taking notes, and the views from inside were pretty awesome. BUT I start out my day at 5am for my daily Crossfit workout (hate to work out any later than noon) but only after a few morning chores such as turning on heat bulb for my hens and opening their door. The ground had fresh powder of snow and there was enough for a coyote to leave footprints in and out of the broader coop area (so glad we close the main coop door and gate leading into their coop area). I don’t blame coyotes for looking around for food because we all have to eat don’t we?
There is an awesome local coffee shop called “late for the train” and serve the best chai lattes I have had besides my own. I usually make my own but sometimes I just crave the idea of someone else making it for me. That was a good day even though it was long and there was some lag time.
I’ve been having this problem for a long time and I’m still trying to grapple with the reality that I just have to do! It’s really tough to do things you keep putting off because no one is holding you accountable except for…YOU! We are are own worst enemies. Am I right?
On any given day, I usually have, what feels like, a gazillion things running through my brain. I have to do this or that and I have to do it by then or soon. I used to be a task lister but that faded when my work load changed. I wouldn’t say the load decreased but rather my work changed. I am not traveling as much nor am I scheduling meetings for multiple principal investigators and I am not calling or emailing people to submit requested documents. My work varies and I really like my flexible schedule which allows me to arrive at work at 7:00-7:30am and leave early so I can pick up my daughter and brother, and perhaps complete some errands.
Ok, let’s just say that I am very good at completing the necessary daily tasks: nourish my daughter, pick up my daughter, love my daughter, pick up brother from school and make sure he does his homework, collect eggs and feed my chickens, eat, workout and sleep, and then do it all over again. I am very good at doing things that people expect me to complete. Here’s where I get in trouble: when people get lax about due dates and times or if I don’t implement due dates and times for myself. This could apply to anything including posting on my blog (so I can practice and improve my writing) and posting photographs for an online course I am taking. It’s very tough for the reason that I procrastinate and I beat myself up when I don’t complete tasks within 24-48 hours, but it could be a lot simpler if I just practice the discipline of task listing and art of doing instead of saying I will do.
How do you handle procrastination?
So I almost did it! I almost finished a month of blogging everyday via NaBloMo December. I was doing fairly well posting content using the daily allotted prompts but then the holidays began. Now I am not much of a holiday, Christmas person and don’t make or wrap my gifts for other folks until the very last minutes before the gift exchange. In addition to the holidays, my little family and I spent a week out on the rez with my extended family, and it was just wonderful. I really do enjoy doing chores for my dad and mom so they don’t have to do it. Mostly the heavy lifting like hauling hay, water and wood. And our daughter brings so much joy to my parents and rest of the family and that makes the holidays that much more special. The other thing is that the Navajo Nation does not have adequate resources to bring quality Internet services out there so we do not have access to the world wide web, unless we are at the local school as an employee or library guest, or live on school campus. Some folks have Internet access via their smartphones but that depends on service providers. We choose not to use ours because the upload is too long and we are scared of using up our data just to check Facebook or something like that.
The New Year brings such joy and promises. Like a fresh clean notebook ready for pencil and pen markings of words and drawings. It’s a mental picture of the possibilities and opportunities in the coming year, and it is very exciting. My daughter has already had her milestone, using the her little portable potty chair to use the bathroom. Wow! That was great! So I predict that before her first birthday she will have potty-trained herself. That will be a relief to our diaper consumption. 🙂